Periodically, I sort through and clean out my bedroom closet. If something hasn’t moved in six months, and it doesn’t have some kind of value, I try to get rid of it (either throwing it the trash or donating it). I notice when I pick up certain items my mind wants to come up with a reason to hold onto it. “I might need this if…” and “Maybe I will do that again…” are excuses that fill my mind. As soon as I place that item in the garbage bag I feel an amazing relief that I am not dragging this “stuff“ around with me.
Six years ago, almost all of my childhood belongings were lost in a house fire, but there are a few things that I had with me that were spared. They are never heavy, and they remind me of some of the most fulfilling times of my life. One of these items is my All-Section long sleeve T-shirt that I earned my sophomore year of high school (see photo above). You can tell by how tattered and worn the shirt is that it has “been through some shit.” I wore this shirt to every single match, tournament, and meet through most of my wrestling career (all 150+ matches). When I picked this shirt up the other day I was overflowing with a sense of happiness and gratitude. I examined in detail the schools and names on the back of the shirt and was instantly taken back 20 years. As I have begun to raise a child, I take a moment to reflect on some of the biggest lessons and qualities that high school wrestling revealed and forced out of me. I hope to one day share these with my boy.
If you want something, you are going to have to work for it- This is one of the biggest clichés you hear in life, but wrestling is a sport that is nearly impossible to rely on talent alone to be successful. Excellence in wrestling takes hours and hours of practice and constant honing of skills In order to overpower and dominate your opponent. You are literally forcing your will onto another individual, and they are doing everything in their power to do the same to you. In order to win, you must be sharp as a tack, and strong in both body and mind. Victory only happens through hard work. I try to bring this lesson into all areas of my life (and some areas are easier than others) but this fact always remains true, “If you want something in life, you better be ready to work for it.”
To succeed, you have to be willing to be vulnerable-I learned this lesson the hard way. The losses that wake me up at night are the ones that when I went out onto the mat I was afraid to lose. I was afraid that everyone would think I was a failure. I wasn’t willing to be vulnerable. It is easy to be great when no one is watching, but when you are a young teenager standing in the center of a wrestling mat in a gymnasium with hundreds of people while your only wearing a Lycra singlet rolling around with another individual, you are exposed. When you are out there giving 100% you are telling yourself and everyone around who is there to see, “I want this and I am willing to lose to get it.” This is a courageous place to be, and it builds enormous self-esteem and resiliency. If you are willing to go through the experience of loss in front of your closest friends and loved ones, there is very little in life that can stop you.
Pain is not your enemy, it is just a byproduct of becoming the best version of yourself- Fear of pain and discomfort (both physically and emotionally) is the biggest factor holding western society back from making change in their lives. Most of the things we want in life are on the other side of that pain and discomfort, but it has become common to surround ourselves with so much comfort that it is almost impossible to acknowledge and move through pain toward reward. Wrestling taught me that pain is completely normal, and that just because you are in pain, doesn’t mean you are going to die. This didn’t happen on my own, I was immersed in a tribe of likeminded individuals, in the beginning older and wiser than I, to make feeling pain normal. When I saw the upperclassmen suffering in the training room and then dominating on the mat, I said to myself, “If that’s what it takes to succeed, I’m in.” It’s important to point out that pain has its limits. It takes experience and knowledge to know how hard to push and when to pull back (I thank all of my teammates and coaches for that). In my experience as a performance coach and personal trainer, most people convince themselves that there is too much pain before the body actually stops itself. Wrestling pushed me to some dark places and survived. There is little that can stop you after living through that.
There are so many additional lessons that this amazing sport taught me, and I know they shaped who I am today. If you are ready to make a change both physically and mentally, I’d love to help. Click the link below to book a free assessment today!